The 100: Family vs Love
by Murphy22
Summary: Lucy was imprisoned for speaking her mind, and now she has a second chance on earth. She encounters horrible creatures and maybe even love. She's not sure which one is scarier.
1. Chapter 1

Living space seems like a dream come true to some, but in my universe the earth was our dream. We couldn't wait until one day when the earth would be deemed as livable. Thinking about the earth was the only thing that made my miserable life worth living since my father died. His death was what destroyed me, and it is also the reason I am a criminal. In a year I will be floated. Happy 18th birthday to me! I do not consider myself a criminal, but to the ARC I am the worst kind of person. I have a mind of my own, and I tried to defy them like my father. Soon my fate will be the same as his, or so I thought. Now I am sitting in a launch pod listening to the words of the Chancellor. Me and ninety-nine other criminals, or children as I would say, were being sent to the ground. This gave me the slightest ounce of hope. My family was broken and screwed up, but maybe this would be my second chance. I looked around the pod to see if I noticed anyone. Some I had known from school. Most of these people were in here for the stupidest of reasons. Then I saw Clarke. I had always looked up to her, and she always looked out for me. She was always the strong one. I wish I could be like her. I hated that she and I were going to be floated, but now we were going to live on earth like a family.

I looked over to her. She gave me a consoling smile. I knew she didn't feel as confident as she let on, but she was always like that. She wanted to be the brave one, because she was the one that most people leaned on. She and my father inspired me to rebel the way I did. My rebellion was small and in the end insufficient, but it was all I could do. Clarke had tried to warn the people about the lack of oxygen, but she did not succeed. After she was sentenced, I took up the cause. I graffitied the walls of the ARC with messages about the lack of oxygen, but they would always be gone the next day. My last attempt is when I made the mistake of going to big. I wanted everyone to see it, but I got caught. Then I was sentenced.

What happened next I could barely describe. It felt like what the elders called roller coasters. I felt like my stomach left my body, and air began to escape my lungs. Part of me wondered did the Chancellor lie to us, and instead of taking us to earth he was floating us. It would be too cruel, but I still worried. Then we hit something. We each unbuckled and stood up. I looked around and noticed that two boys were already dead. They shouldn't have been so stupid and unbuckled before we landed. I walked over to Clarke. She hugged me. I was glad that we were sent down together. Then the doors were opened, and this girl named Octavia became the first human to step on ground since forever. Then we all followed. At first I was afraid that we would all suffocate from the toxic air, but it was breathe able. Everyone began to rejoice and explore. It was amazing. Clarke separated from the group. I wanted to follow, but I was too mesmerized by everything around me.

Then I saw him. At first I almost didn't recognize him, but how could I forget those eyes. He was so gorgeous, but he wasn't a criminal. I remember that he was a janitor, and he cleaned up around the prison. I remember getting a glimpse of him one day. I was obsessed with drawing at the time, maybe because Clarke was. I drew on my walls my parents and all my friends, so they would be with me. Once I saw this boy I had to draw him, but I never got a good look at his eyes. The picture was almost perfect. I just needed to get a glimpse of his eyes. I use to stare through the tiny window in my door to see him. I was so frustrated because I never saw his eyes again, so one day I banged on the door. That seemed to get his attention because he turned. His eyes were so amazing. Everything about him was amazing. We stood for a few seconds looking into each other's eyes. I wanted to hide back in my cell, but I had to remember what his eyes looked like. Then he walked away, and I finished my picture. The boy's name was Bellamy Blake.

Suddenly Bellamy looked at me, and I jumped. I quickly walked towards where Clarke was. I don't know if he would even recognize me, but I didn't want to risk it. So I met up with Clarke, and she was staring at a map. Apparently we had landed on the wrong side of the mountain. Clarke wanted to make an expedition to retrieve the food that we needed to survive. I was ready to follow her on this journey, but she said, "No, I'm not letting you risk your life for this."

I replied," Seriously just being on earth is risky."

"I won't lose you to."

She hugged me, and I said, "Fine."

I hated that I didn't put up much of a fight, but that's how it was with Clarke. She said something, and I listened. She told me to go back to the camp and keep an eye on things with Wells. I wanted to help, but I guess this was all I could do to help. Part of me didn't want to go back to the camp because I would see Bellamy, but then I realized that that was ridiculous. I tried to act strong. I didn't want anyone to think that I was weak, because I was down here with a lot of criminals. Now some were like me, but not all were. I wondered how long and if I could keep this façade up. I walked around camp trying to be useful by observing everyone's behavior. Most of the teenagers were busy getting laid. How original that the first time they're free they have sex. Then I heard someone behind me, and I turned around. It was a boy. He wasn't ugly, but not my type. He smiled at me and said," Hi I'm Murphy. Wanna join in on the fun?"

I stuttered,"Nno…tthanks."

He moved closer.

"Really cause you don't seem that sure."

I didn't know what to do. Then a boy moved in between us.

The guy said, "Walk away."

Murphy replied," Hey I'm just trying to have some fun."

Then the boy replied," Can't you tell she's not interested. Now leave!"

Murphy left. I wanted to see the guy with the hot voice that just saved my life. Then he turned. It was Bellamy.

Bellamy said," He won't bother you no more. Hi I'm Bellamy."

"Lucy."

He smiled, "That's a pretty name."

I blushed, "Thank you."

I was so nervous that I quickly walked away, but I did look over my shoulder. Bellamy was still smiling at me. I was ecstatic. The guy that I had had a crush on for what felt like forever just saved my life and smiled at me. The day had been so wonderful until I heard Clarke screaming my name. I ran to find her. When I got there I noticed that she was out of breath. She told me everything that had happened to them and Jasper. This time she wouldn't talk me out of going. Even Murphy and Bellamy tagged along. I didn't like that Murphy was going, but I felt safe with Bellamy there. We were tracking Jasper, and failing at it in the dark. Clarke decided that we should rest, so we took a break. I started a fire, and Clarke and I sat down and talked. I asked, "Who do you think took Jasper?"

She replied," I'm not sure."

"Clarke?"

"Yeah?"

"Was coming to earth a mistake?"

"No."

"Do you wish I never came?"

"Are you kidding? There is no one I'd rather be on earth with besides my sister."

I smiled. It was the first time she said it out loud.


	2. Chapter 2

So Clarke and I sat by the fire with our stomachs grumbling for nourishment. Sitting around in silence listening to the grumbling was driving me insane, so I decided to walk around for a while. Clarke didn't want me to, but I told her that I would not wander too far. She was my sister, and she was just being protective. I hated that on the ARC we had to keep it a secret that we were siblings. It's a long story, but I'll probably save it for another time. Maybe after Jasper was safe. I didn't really know him, but I was worried about him. He seemed like a nice guy, and one of the few that didn't deserve to be in prison. I looked out in the woods. It was amazing and scary how it had changed. In some ways it was beautiful. I heard someone breathing behind me. I had never been more scared in my life. I thought maybe a grounder was behind me. I held tight to the makeshift knife I brought with me. I wasn't a good fighter, but I was going to go down swinging. As turned around and propelled my knife at the assailant it stopped. Someone had grabbed my arm. Then I heard, "It's just me."

I looked up, and I saw it was Bellamy."Oh…I'm so sorry."

He let go of my arm and said, "Its okay. You can never be too careful."

For what seemed like forever, but was actually seconds, we stood beside each other in silence.

Then he broke the silence."You look so familiar."

I looked into his eyes and lied." You've probably just seen me around the ARC."

Then it seemed like something hit him." No, you're the girl."

"What girl?"

"The girl that stared at me through her cell door."

He smiled.

" would you think that?"

"You're eyes. I could never forget how beautifully blue they are."

I was speechless.

Then he smiled again and said," I saw it."

"Saw what?"

"The drawing."

I was so embarrassed. He probably thought I was a stalker.

"I…um…I."

"I thought was amazing."

This time I smiled. "How did you see it?"

"Well as a janitor when the guards would check all the rooms I had to clean up afterwards. Then I saw all of your drawings. They were beautiful."

"Thanks."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sssure…."

"Why draw me?"

"It's stupid."

He smiled." I bet it's not."

I smiled." I was inspired by your eyes."

I think this time he actually blushed. This made me smile again. For the next few moments we just stood there in silence looking into each other's eyes. This silence didn't feel awkward like before. It felt nice. Bellamy moved closer to me. Our breath began to mingle together. Then we kissed. His kiss was intoxicating. I wanted more and more, and so did he. He was the stronger one though, because he stopped. He still held me close for another second. When he finally let go I missed the warmth of his touch. I'm not sure if it was so amazing because it was my first kiss, or because it was my first kiss with Bellamy Blake.

We both returned to the camp, but separately. I knew what Clarke would say, because I know how much she dislikes him. I mean I know he was kind of starting total anarchy, but I guess that's what they mean when they say love makes you blind. I'm not sure if its love, but it's something. Bellamy wants to take off all of our wristbands, so the ARC won't come down. He was so charismatic that I almost took mine off, but I couldn't do that to Clarke or my mom and dad. I decided that for now whatever was going on between me and Bellamy would be a secret. I don't want to make a fuss over something that may not last.

In the morning we continued to look for Jasper. We came across a lake where Finn saw blood. There was so much of it. Part of me wished that it wasn't Jasper's. We followed the blood, and there was Jasper tied to a tree. He looked so helpless. Clarke was the first to run to him, but then she was falling. Luckily Bellamy caught her. He stood there for a few seconds. It was like he was weighing the pros and cons of pulling her out. I was about to run up to her when suddenly he pulled her up. I was so relieved. I hoped that he saved her because of me, but I wasn't sure what was running through his head. We took Jasper and went back to camp.

That night Bellamy was considered a hero to everyone because he brought meat to the people. He seemed to enjoy the attention. I know this makes him seen vain, but I guess when you have a crush on someone you overlook the little faults. I mean nobody's perfect. I ate with Clarke and Finn even though I wanted to eat with Bellamy. Although we sat apart he stared at me the entire time. I started to wonder if we had inhaled some toxin and now could read each other's minds because he just seemed to be looking into my mind and absorbing everything. Then he motioned for me to join him in the woods. I nodded in agreement. Now I just had to ditch Clarke. I turned ready to give her some lame explanation about being tired until I noticed how she was mesmerized by Finn in the same way that Bellamy mesmerized me, so I slowly walked away.

It was dark, but because of the glowing forest I could see Bellamy perfectly. I could see his perfect eyes, his perfect hair, and his perfect lips. He held his hand out, and I didn't hesitate to grab it. We walked far enough away from the camp to be alone, but not too far enough to not know the way back. We sat under a tree just talking about random stuff. It was nice. Then he asked me something I didn't expect. He asked," So what's the deal with you and Clarke?"

I was shocked, but I replied," What do you mean?"

"Well…you follow her around and do whatever she says and she treats you as if she was your big sister."

I stayed quiet and tried to look away from him. I didn't want to lie about it anymore, so I chose silence.

Something seemed to click for Bellamy. He said," Of course, she is your sister but how?"

My silence gave me away. I wanted to tell him, and if I didn't tell someone I was going to burst.

I replied," Her dad and my mom use to date when they were younger, and a few months after Clarke was born they had an affair. My mom and dad were trying, but they couldn't have a child. I'm not sure if my mother did it because she wanted a child or because she wanted my dad. Clarke's mom and my stepdad agreed to keep it a secret because my stepdad so badly wanted a child and I don't think Clarke's mom could do that to my parents, so we kept it a secret. Clarke and I could see each other, but never call each other sister. We always had to hide it, but that's why she's so protective of me."

Bellamy responded," I know what it's like to have a sibling, and I know what it's like hiding it. I'm so sorry you had to do that."

"It's okay."

He smiled at me again. I felt like I could read a mind again, because his face seemed to say that he was glad that someone understood him in a way that nobody could. I wonder if that's what he was thinking or was it just me.

"You wanna go for a walk?"

"Okay."

We walked around hand in hand. It felt so right and so amazing. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. They said the earth would be a new beginning for us, but now I really think that it will be. We stopped and Bellamy turned to look me in the eyes. He still looked amazingly gorgeous, but I thought I saw a twinge of sadness. He placed a soft and tender kiss on my lips. Then he said," I'm sorry." I was more confused than ever now. Then someone grabbed me from behind. I saw that it was Murphy. I was really scared now. What was going to happen? I looked at Bellamy, but he wouldn't look me in the eye. Then some more boys came in front of me smiling. I was wrestled to the ground by Murphy. I was afraid they were going to kill me. Another boy held my arm while another grabbed a knife. I struggled as best I could, but I was powerless. Then they might as well killed me because to the ARC I was dead. They cut off my wristband. Then they just left me except for Bellamy. I tried to hold back the tears, but it was getting hard. Then Bellamy said," I'm sorry." Then he walked away. Now that he was gone I couldn't hold it anymore. I cried. My parents think I'm dead, and soon they will be dead as well. I couldn't stop crying. I was a fool. Bellamy just pretended to like me. He just wanted my wristband. I had never so quickly loathed someone. How can you love someone one minute then hate them so much the next? I cried into the ground. It seemed like all I could do. Everything I thought was real wasn't. Earth was not a new beginning. It was just the same pain just in a different setting.


	3. Chapter 3

I stayed there all night. I screamed and cried for hours. I became tired from all the screaming and crying, so I fell asleep. The next thing I remember is waking up in a makeshift tent. At first I was worried that the grounders took me, but then I heard Wells. His voice was faint as if he was walking away, but at least I knew that I was at camp. Then I wondered what tent I was in. Did Clarke bring me home? I don't remember anything after I fell asleep. I wish I could forget everything that happened before. Then someone walked into the tent. He kneeled down and looked at me. It was Bellamy. I wanted to look away, but I had already lost so much. I would not show fear. He looked at me with what seemed like remorse, but that can't be true. It was probably just pity. Then I thought about how I must look. I slept in the ground, and my hair was probably a mess. My eyes were probably still red from crying. I was fighting a losing battle against Bellamy, but I would not look away. I looked into his eyes. What once was beautiful now looked soulless. The passion I felt was replaced with rage. Then Bellamy spoke. He said," I'm so sorry."

All I could say was," How did I get here?"

"After I left, I came back around, and I hid behind the trees until you fell asleep. Then I carried you back to my tent. Watching you cry….I felt horrible. Can you forgive me?"

This was probably the only time I would get the courage to say this, so I replied," SCREW YOU!"

That seemed to hurt him. Good!

"I am so sorry."

I stood up and said," If you were so sorry you should have just left me there. Now everyone's going to think that I had sex with you, and now I don't even want to share the same earth as you."

"I am so sorry."

"Stop saying that! You don't mean it."

"Fine. What do we do now?"

"Whatever the hell you want."

Then I walked out of the tent. A few people saw me walk out of Bellamy's tent, but I don't think they cared. For once I was glad nobody knew who I was. I didn't know where to go, but then I decided to check on Jasper. I wanted to know how he was doing, and if he was still alive. When I saw him, I didn't think that he would look this bad. He looked so close to death. Clarke was doing all she could to keep him alive. I wished I could help, but Clarke was the one who was good at this medical stuff. I walked over to Jasper, and he was so pale. I pushed the hair out of his face. Then Clarke seemed to notice that I was there. She looked at me. She looked tired from all the stress. Her face changed from stressful to rage when she looked at me. I didn't really notice before but I had a few cuts on my hands and my wrists were bloody and bruised. She dropped what she was doing and grabbed my wrists to inspect them. Then she asked," Who did this to you?" I told her the long and horrible story while she cleaned me up. I cried more, but then she tended to Jasper. Clarke continued," I have to go with Finn to get something for Jasper. Will you be okay?"

I nodded.

She asked," Are you sure?"

I replied," Yes."

"Don't leave this room."

I nodded again. Then she hugged me and left to find Finn. I thought I heard a commotion, so I went outside to see. I know Clarke told me to stay put, but I was curious. I walked out to see Bellamy getting a group of guys together to go hunt. Then I saw Charlotte going with him. She was just a child. I couldn't let Bellamy ask her to go. I walked up to him filled with rage. I said," You can't take Charlotte with you."

Bellamy responded," Why not?"

"She's just a child."

"She wants to go, and she has to learn to take care of herself."

I looked at Charlotte. I know what Clarke told me, but I wasn't going to let Bellamy influence this girl.

"Fine, but I'm going with you then."

Bellamy smiled and didn't object.

I responded," Don't flatter yourself. I'm not doing this for you."

We walked around for what seemed like hours. I stayed as close to Charlotte as possible, but the problem was that she stayed as close to Bellamy as possible. Everything was horrible. I no longer believed in the fairytales of earth. The ARC took everything from me. Earth was supposed to change my life. It did change, but it was nothing that I expected. We looked to earth for salvation, but all we got was more destruction. Who in their right mind would send a bunch of kids down to earth to fend for themselves? But then again we were criminals. We didn't deserve it live anyway, so why would it even matter. I realized that there were probably murderers in this camp, but the person I was most afraid of was never even convicted of a crime. How could Bellamy be so cruel?

Then a storm hit. It looked like some kind of gas. Some tried to run back to camp while others hid. I wasn't entirely sure what to do, but then Bellamy motioned for Charlotte and me to follow him. If it wasn't for Charlotte I might have just stood there. I followed. I dreaded the thought of having to spend even more time with Bellamy, but it didn't look like this storm was going to let up any time soon. I sat as far away from him as possible. Later on during the night I overheard him talking to Charlotte. She had been having a hard time with things. She had lots of nightmares. Bellamy was consoling her. How could someone so evil be so gently and loving? For a split second I wondered about the different sides of him, and like a silly girl I wondered if I could change him. The thought quickly left my mind. I hated these little bursts of emotion that I would feel for him. Part of me wondered if they were true feelings or if he was just tricking me again. I didn't care which one was the correct answer because I could never go back down that road again.

While Charlotte was sleeping Bellamy came over to talk to me. I didn't even want to look at him much less talk to him, but he was persistent. He looked at me with those eyes that seemed to express guilt and sorrow. Two emotion I figured he was no longer capable of possessing. Part of me wanted to draw the expression on his face. He looked like a man in a mask. On the surface he was hardened, but underneath there was a glimpse of vulnerability. I'm not entirely sure if it was really there or if it was just what I wanted to see. I hated that he brought these emotions out in me. How could one guy make me feel so many different things? Then he said," I know what I did was wrong and I am sorry."

I wanted to yell but I didn't want to wake Charlotte so I whispered," No you don't know. I get that you hate the ARC because of what they did to your mother. They did the same to my father, but you're not just hurting the ARC. You're hurting our families. My mom and stepdad are still up there, and now they think that they will never see me again. And if your plan works I will never see them again. You didn't just destroy the ARC….you destroyed me."

Bellamy seemed to take all that in, and he did seem regretful.

"There's something that you and nobody else know about me."

"What?"

"In order to get on the ship with my sister I had to…."

"You had to what?"

"I had to kill the Chancellor."

My eyes began to tear up. The Chancellor had many faults especially what he did to my family, but he didn't deserve to die. Then my thoughts flashed to Wells. I at least knew my parents were alive. Wells is walking around not knowing. They say ignorance is bliss, but I would want to know. Then I imagined what Bellamy must be feeling right now. He had nothing on the ARC. His only reason for living was going down to earth. I hated that I understood why he did it, but I don't agree with it. I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to hug him and punch him all at the same time. Did this change anything? Who am I kidding this changes everything.

Bellamy asked, "Lucy?"

I replied," Sorry. I just need to think for a minute."

"Ok."

"Bellamy I'm sorry about all the horrible things that have happened to your family. I get wanting to be with your sister, but I don't understand about the Chancellor. I just can't completely wrap my head around it."

"I know. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I needed you to know why I did what I did. I also wanted to tell you that the things I felt while with you were not fake. I didn't expect to feel anything, but when I kissed you I felt….."

"I know I felt it too, but Bellamy I can't."

"I understand."

"Bellamy why can't you always be like this?"

"Nice doesn't get you anywhere."

I didn't need to say anymore because there was nothing else to tell. Bellamy was a confused and messed up guy. He had a lot to learn. He never asked me to keep his secret. I contemplated telling Clarke, but I knew that I never would. There was nothing we could do about this that would help. It would cause a bigger problem if people knew, so I would protect Bellamy. He may be misguided, but he knew how to lead. Maybe in time he will get better. Maybe in time he will be the type of man that we want as a leader. Maybe in time he will be the man that he is in secret.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning closely snuggled to Bellamy. I didn't exactly know what to think of this. We were confined to a tight space and it is probably and accident, but the minute I move he'll wake up. When he wakes up we'll both feel embarrassed and realize how close we came to almost being together. Part of me wants to go back to sleep. I look at him while he sleeps. He looks at peace. He never looks this way. I stare at him to capture this moment. If I can remember it maybe one day I can draw it. Then the reality of the situation set in. Bellamy woke up, and quickly apologized and separated from me.

The storm was over. We walked back to camp hoping the others had made it back safely. I hope Clarke and Finn are okay. We walk back in silence. I wonder the future Bellamy and I will have. Whether we are together or not we still have to share this earth. I won't lie and say I'm not attracted to him, but I will not give into my attraction. I see the possibility in Bellamy, but there is no possibility of an "us". I still have some hateful feelings towards him, but hate seems like a wasted emotion now. I don't know exactly what we are, but at least for now I no longer consider us enemies.

When we got back to the camp I saw Clarke. I was more than relieved. And she was obviously more than ticked. I knew she would be mad that I left and that I left with Bellamy. I wasn't entirely sure how this would end up, but either way I was about to find out. Clarke ran up to me and hugged me. I really hoped that that was it, but what kind of a sister would she be if she didn't yell. And oh did she yell. She rambled on about safety and Bellamy being a scumbag. That was his cue to leave. When she was finally finished I replied," Clarke, I'm sorry you were worried, but we're on the ground danger is all around us. You can't protect me from everything. I need to learn on my own."

I could obviously tell that she didn't like my answer, but I could tell that she respected it. She asked me to help her to tend to Jasper. I followed her. Jasper seemed to be doing better. I was relieved. I knew I didn't know him, but losing any more of us seemed unbearable. Clarke left me to do something with Finn. I was starting to wonder was something going on between those two. Romance seemed to be in the air. I stayed with Jasper and talked to him. He was in and out of consciousness. I don't even know if he caught anything I was saying, so I just kept talking. It was actually cathartic. I talked about who I was and how I got here and my fears of earth and lots of random stuff. I said," It's amazing how dangerously beautiful this place is."

Jasper responded," More dangerous."

He stifled a laugh.

I wanted to laugh, but laughter didn't seem like a reality while living here.

"You have been listening."

"Yeah…you really got put in here for painting?"

I surprised myself by laughing.

"It's better than being arrested for getting high."

He smiled at me.

"Please…continue."

That's when I realized that I never really noticed Jasper before now. He was fairly cute in a dorky way. He was realistically cute. Bellamy seemed to be one of those really hot guys that are only real in your dreams. I know it sounds strange that I would let that go, but maybe dorky and normal was a good alternative. Now I don't want to jump into anything, but thinking about Jasper made me realize how many guys were out there. Not all of them were murderers. Maybe there was hope for a semi normal relationship, but right now it seemed like an impossibility.

The next day I let Octavia take care of Jasper. She was worried about him. She actually got him to walk around a little bit. Today seemed much better. We were actually surviving. Everything wasn't as bad as I thought. Then I heard the scream. It was a man. I ran as fast as I could until I saw a screaming Jasper. I didn't want to know why he was screaming, but I had to know. I looked and I was right I didn't want to know. Wells was lying on the ground motionless. There was a blood. How could this be? Wells was dead! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find the lung capacity to do it. Why would anyone want to kill Wells? I've known Wells all my life. He couldn't be dead. Then I saw Clarke. I wanted to shield her from this, but I knew she would be just as persistent as me. Finn came to console her. I didn't know what I should do. I looked around and I saw Bellamy. Then I wondered would he do this. He already killed Well's father why not the son. Fury began to build up in me. I stomped away.

Bellamy must have seen the fury in my eyes because he followed me. I wanted to punch and kick, but I knew he was stronger. He was trained as a guard. He was probably the only one of us who could actually fight. I turned to face him. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I did not want to cry in front of him. I wanted to stay mad. He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. Was he guilty for killing Wells? I had to know. I asked," Did you kill Wells?"

Bellamy was hurt, and he replied," Lucy, I wouldn't do that to you."

"Why not? You've done everything else to me!"

That blow really seem to hurt him.

"Alright. Let it out."

"What?!"

"You're upset, so say everything on your mind. I can take it."

I hated that he was being understanding, it only made me madder.

"I HATE YOU! You tricked me! You made my parents think I'm dead! You killed the Chancellor! The Chancellor killed my dad! The ARC sent us to this stupid earth, so we could die! We're all going to die! Wells is dead!"

I started to sob. It felt like my heart was breaking. Everything that had happened came back to me all at once. Bellamy walked up to me and tried to wrap his arms around me. I punched at him to no avail. He embraced me, and I cried into his shoulder.

"It's okay."

I cried," Wells is dead."

"I know."

I began to calm down. My crying had stopped. Now that I was thinking clearly. I knew it couldn't have been Bellamy that killed Wells. No matter how misguided he was he wouldn't hurt Wells because it would hurt me. I knew we couldn't be together, but I could tell that he still had some lingering feelings for me. The feeling was entirely mutual, but we couldn't give into them. I pulled myself away from him. The second we separated the world seemed cold again. I wanted to retreat back into his arms, but I wouldn't really be escaping reality. I would just be ignoring it, and that would not make it go away.

We walked back to camp. It seemed like I wasn't the only one that was furious about Wells death. A riot began to form. I thought it odd that so many people cared. Wells was the son of the Chancellor, and the Chancellor probably put most of them here. They were more suspects than mourners in my opinion. That made me realize that Bellamy was not the one that I should be questioning, but here came another question…where would I start? People were shouting, but I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking of who could have done this. Why would they do this? Then I heard some utter a name. Once I heard it everything seemed to make sense. Of course he was the most plausible suspect. Then I heard his name again. What a piece of slime. Then I gathered the courage to say it as well, but it was barely a whisper, "Murphy."

People began to shout and scream. They wanted justice for this murder. They wanted…blood. They all looked to Bellamy for instructions. I stood next to him awaiting as well. I knew that this was too much on him. How could someone possible make this decision? After the Chancellor I think it was even more impossible. Clarke tried to plead with the people. She didn't want to convict an innocent man. I didn't either, but I stayed silent. I regret not speaking because it was wrong. I didn't truly know if he had done it, but he seemed just sleazy enough to do it. Part of me wanted to kill him myself, but I knew I could never take him.

Everything else seemed like a blur. The next thing I remember was Bellamy pushing something from underneath Murphy's feet. My eyes stared at the rope around his neck. Was this justice? Was this right? I felt sick to my stomach. Then something worse happened. The little girl Charlotte stared at Murphy. She seemed just as horrified. I wanted to shield her from this. Nobody should ever lose their innocence at such a young age. Then Charlotte screamed," Let him down! I killed Wells!" My entire world seemed to stand still. Innocence seemed to be all in my imagination. Maybe none of us were ever really innocent. I heard the rope snap. I couldn't move. I saw Murphy stand up. That made both Bellamy and I jump into action. We both grabbed Charlotte by the arm and ran. We ran as fast as we could. I looked back for a second and noticed that Clarke was following me. I'm glad that she was on my side. Now all we had to do was outrun Murphy.

After an hour or so we finally found a safe place to rest. I looked into the forest. Parts of it were lit up, but now it all seemed just a little bit dimmer. I sat next to Clarke. She seemed frustrated, which was completely understandable. I was still in shock. I wanted to go over and comfort Charlotte, but how could I comfort the person that killed Wells. Bellamy seemed to be able to comfort him all by himself. I appreciated that he did that because I sadly did not have the strength to do it. Then I heard Clarke speak," Part of me wonders why we're helping her."

I responded, "She's just a kid."

"Well kids are innocent, and she doesn't look that innocent to me."

"We left innocence back on the ARC."

"I know we can't kill her. They never should have tried to kill Murphy, but part of me thinks that the person who did this should be punished."

"I understand, but it makes it more difficult when a child is involved."

I left Clarke to check on Charlotte. I couldn't just sit any longer. I needed to do something. I walked over to them. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but then Charlotte spoke.

She said, "I'm sorry. I couldn't take the nightmares anymore."

I replied," We're not going to let them kill you."

"You probably should."

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to say that it's not her fault, but that would be a complete lie. Then I heard shouting. This was not a good sign.

"Murphy!"

Bellamy interrupted, "What should we do?"

Then a plan formed in my mind.

I said," You and Clarke run. I'll hold him off."

Bellamy replied, "That is a bad plan."

"It's the best we've got."

"Then let me stay."

"No you need to keep Charlotte safe."

"He could kill you."

"No he won't. This will give you time to get away. Please just go."

They left. I didn't believe my lie about Murphy not killing me. I knew there was more than a possibility of death tonight, but I would not let that death be Charlotte's. Then Murphy found me. I thought he would have had some people with him, but they must have split up. I guess if I was going to kill someone I wouldn't want witnesses either. Now was the time to fight. I kicked and punched, and he blocked everyone. I hated being so weak, but I had to fight back. I took out my knife. I nicked him here and there, but no place that would cause death. Then he retrieved his knife from his pocket. More blows were exchanged. I managed to kick him in the groin. That seemed to work the best. He was only down for a few seconds. Then he slashed my leg. The searing pain went through my leg. I stumbled. My stumble gave him the time he needed to get up. I held on to a tree trunk to get my balance. Then I turned. I turned into Murphy's knife. The blade pierced through my stomach. This pain was worse than my leg. I fell against the tree. He twisted the blade and left it inside me. Then he grabbed mine and ran.

I sat there. I was bleeding out. I was dying. But then I realized that I wasn't just going to lie there and die. I had to safe Charlotte id it was the last thing that I did. I groaned as I pulled the blade out of my stomach. I stood up and held on to my wound. I ran as fast as I could. It didn't seem fast enough. Then after a while I came to a cliff. Murphy was about to attack. Then I ran at him with all my force. I stabbed him in the shoulder with his own blade, but he threw me off. I took his blade with me, and I was about to attack again but Bellamy got to him first. He was beating Murphy to death. Clarke ran to stop him. I turned to face Charlotte. I was happy that she was still alive. Then my joy was gone. She jumped off the cliff. I ran to catch her, but I was too late. I watched her fall. She killed herself. I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed for Wells. I screamed for Charlotte. I screamed for now I had lost all hope.


	5. Chapter 5

It was now morning. I was sitting at the edge of the cliff with my legs dangling over the side. Last night is still a blur. It all happened so fast. I remember her falling. I saw her…fall. After that I only remember bits and pieces. Murphy was banished. I wish I could get up and kill him. If it wasn't for him Charlotte would still be here. I wanted to rip his throat out. My stomach still hurt. Clarke patched it up, but it was still very painful. Clarke and Bellamy tried to convince me to go back to camp so I could get better medical treatment, but right now I didn't care. Death was everywhere, and I didn't think that I would survive this night anyway. In some ways I don't think that I did.

I stared down searching for her body. I couldn't see it. Part of me thought that maybe if I didn't see it then it didn't happen. Imagination was a childish thing though. Reality was Charlotte killed herself, and I don't know how to process that. Then I heard someone walk up behind me. I knew it was either Bellamy or Clarke. Clarke would come to check my wound twice a day, and Bellamy would come a few times to give me food and just sit. I knew they were worried about me, but I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. For now I'll sit in silence and listen. Bellamy sat beside me. He brought me some more food. I wish he wouldn't waste the food because I wasn't eating, and someone else could have benefitted from it. This fact didn't stop him. For the first few minutes he sat there in complete silence with me. It was like he was searching for the words that would get me to come back to reality. But reality was something that I didn't want to be a part of right now. He sighed and said," Lucy, you couldn't have saved her."

I wanted to say that he didn't know that. I could have been faster, but I couldn't form the words that I wanted to say. It felt like someone had stolen my voice.

He continued," You're still in shock, and your wound is getting worse."

I knew he was right, but I didn't care. The only response I made was to clutch Murphy's knife. It seemed to be the only movement that I could make.

Bellamy pleaded," Please come back with me. Murphy is gone. You can put the knife down. I won't let anyone hurt you again."

That was the problem. He couldn't protect me. I needed to learn how to defend myself.

Then he sighed again and returned back to camp. I hated that everyone was worried about me, but I didn't know what else to do. When Bellamy left I loosened my grip on the blade. I heard someone else approach. I gripped so tight on the blade that my knuckles turned white. Then the person sat next to me and dangled their legs over the ledge. I looked over and saw that it was…Charlotte. She was alive! How was this possible? There wasn't a scratch on her. For the first time today I spoke," Charlotte?"

She replied," Not exactly. You're imagining things. It's probably from blood lose or the infection that your slowly getting. I would get that checked out by the way."

I looked down to my t-shirt. A lot of blood had already dried, but I could see that more blood was staining it.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you do it?"

Charlotte sighed, "Does it matter."

I urged," Yes."

"I'm your imagination, Lucy, nothing I say is really real."

"I still need to know."

"I saw you defending me. I saw you bleeding. You were bleeding because of me. If I was gone, so was your pain."

"I feel worse now than I did then."

"That's why I'm here. You should really go with Bellamy."

I replied," I need…."

"To grief…to understand….closure."

"Yes."

Charlotte giggled a little. "Closure is a myth."

"You're too young to believe that."

"I don't, but you do."

I sighed," Why do I care so much. I mean you killed Wells."

"Because you care for everyone no matter what they've done. You're world has been turned upside down, and you don't know how to deal with it."

I asked, "And how would you deal with it?"

Her face turned grim." I jumped."

"So there is no hope."

She shrugged, "That's up for you to decide."

I stood up. I was at the very edge of the cliff. Charlotte stood beside me. I looked down into the abyss. Then someone grabbed me and pulled me back. We both crashed to the ground. The knife was no longer in my hand. Then I saw it was Bellamy. He looked scared. We both stood up.

He yelled, "What were you going to do?!"

I yelled back," I wasn't going to jump."

Then I realized that that was the truth. I wasn't going to jump. I looked over at the cliff. Charlotte stood exactly where she was before. My heart sank when I thought that I would have to see her jump again. Instead she disappeared as if she was a dream. Then in a blink of an eye I was back into reality.

"Why were you standing so close then?"

"I wanted to know what Charlotte was thinking. I needed to know why she did it."

Then Bellamy embraced me. Again I never wanted to leave the warmth of his body.

"We all want to know why."

For the first time since she died I cried.

"Bellamy, I can't do this anymore. I can't….The earth is changing us."

"Don't lose hope. We'll figure this out. We can make this home."

We walked back to camp. Bellamy kept his arm around me, but as soon as we came to the door we separated. He must have remembered that I didn't want people to think that we were together because we weren't. He led me straight to my sister, so she could properly examine my wounds. Apparently I was lucky that it wasn't infected. At least that's what Clarke told me a million times. She also kept asking me about what happened on the cliff. She wanted to know what made me decide to come down. I told her that it was Bellamy. I decided what happened between me and Charlotte would stay a secret. It may not have been real, but I think it was my closure.

After Clarke was done making sure that I was completely okay, she demanded that I lie down. I told her I was fine and that I would rest later. Bellamy agreed with her and told me that I should rest. I told them I was fine and I stood up to leave. Then, just my luck, I became light headed and I was falling to the ground. Before I hit Bellamy caught me. I was only half conscious. He swooped me into his arms. I could feel his muscular arms encompassing me. It was safe and secure. I wanted to protest, but I didn't have the strength to do it. He carried me to a tent. As soon as he laid me down I realized that it was his tent. I wanted to yell at him again for this, but I immediately fell asleep. The last thing I saw was Bellamy leaning over me and brushing hair out of my face.

When I woke up I realized how much I really did need to sleep, but I wasn't going to let Bellamy know that he was right. He was already cocky enough. I sat up on the bed. I could tell that it was dark. I couldn't believe that I slept the whole day. So much could be accomplished in a day, and all I did was sleep. Since Bellamy wasn't there I decided to look around his tent. I knew I shouldn't be, but I was curious about him. There wasn't much to look at. I noticed his jacket was on the floor. I don't know why but my first instinct was to pick it up. I looked it over, and I could smell Bellamy. His smell intoxicated me. I knew I shouldn't and couldn't feel this way, but his smell on the jacket made me so…ecstatic. Then I reluctantly set his jacket back where I found it. I started to feel dizzy again, so I sat down on his bed. I knew I should get up and leave, but even if I wanted to my head was not going to let Bellamy came in and offered me some dinner. I took one whiff of the food and kindly refused. That didn't seem to make him happy. He sat on the makeshift stool in front of me and said,"You really should eat something."

I replied," I just haven't had much of an appetite lately."

"Lucy, I know you've been through a lot, but if you don't eat…."

I cut him off and said," I know what will happen, Bellamy!"

He sighed," I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

"Don't be worried. It's not your job to worry about me."

"I can't help it."

"Learn to."

Bellamy laughed," You've become very sassy lately."

"So what."

"It's kind of hot."

His comment shocked me. Then he moved from the stool to the bed. He moved so fast and flawlessly. He didn't give me any time to think. We were now inches apart. Our breath began to intermingle. I wanted to stand up, but if I did I would probably faint. I began to feel dizzy again. I wasn't sure if it was because of my headache or was he doing this to me. My body was so confused right now. He inched closer. I could almost feel his lips on mine. I had to move. I had to will my feet to move. Then my feet listened and I stood up. Bellamy stood as well. I wanted to walk out, but my feet had stopped listening to me. He was still very close to me. Then, not meaning to, I looked at him. He was gorgeous. He was muscular. He was….irresistible. He seemed to know that I wanted to leave, so he grabbed my hands. He wasn't forcing me to stay. It was more like he was begging me to. Then our lips met. It was even more amazing than the first time. I didn't pull away. I knew I should, but I didn't want to. I wanted to be with him in this moment. I wanted everything with him. Then I felt a pain in my stomach. I squealed, and Bellamy quickly separated from me. He asked," Did I hurt you?"

I replied," No. It's just my stitches."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"You sure?"

I moved closer to him.

"I'm done fighting it. I want you."

He put his hand to my face.

"I want to do this right."

I giggled,"Bellamy Blake wants to take things slow."

He smiled."Youre different. I don't want to just sleep with you. I want to be with you in every way."

I smiled," I like that idea."

He embraced me with a kiss. It was passionate, but I got the feeling that he was holding back like he didn't want to break me. I didn't want to be thought of as a breakable object, but in his arms and in this moment I honestly didn't care. It was a problem that I would deal with late, but for now I was in complete and utter bliss.


End file.
